...and lately I am empty, toxic crap.
Today is Day 1 of an 8-week detox. I really need to get back on track. It scares me to see how much and how quickly I have lost sight of what is most important to me - my health.
I tried to do another MC (previous blog) but found that I wasn't ready yet for another round. My eating is crazy and filled with too many emotions. I have gained 22 lbs. in the past 6 weeks. Granted, some of that may be muscle as I have been running an average of 9 miles of week for the past 3 weeks. I am so disgusted with myself and I am angry at what I've let myself become. I haven't weighed this much in years. My work clothes are getting tight and I actually can't wear a few of my pants anymore. I am so embarrassed that I let this happen and I feel so much stress knowing that he will be back from deployment in just over 2 months. My goal was to look better when he returned - not worse.
My skin is going crazy along with my eating. I am breaking out and my face is oilier than ever. My body is very dry and I developed an itchy rash on my leg like the ones I used to get when I was very unhealthy with my eating. I ordered lots of skincare products in the hopes of making my complexion better, but I know that I need to clean up my insides first.
So, today is Day 1: No sugar, no processed foods, nothing unnatural. I have become a junk-food vegetarian and that is the worst thing to be.
Over the next 8 weeks I will reclaim my balance and my body. I will regain my self-confidence with a clear complexion, soft skin, slim thighs and a tight ass. I will fit all of my clothes and have room to breath in them. I will reach my goal of 104 lbs and be in the best shape when he returns home to me...
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